September 10 2017

Tears of Joy & Regret


I turned 69 years of age yesterday. I’ve pretty much seen it all in these 69 years of life. Nonetheless, I received a birthday card today in the mail. It was from my Little Brother. Now, I know this might not sound like a big deal, for a man of 69 to receive a card from his little brother.

It brought a river of tears, tears for not knowing I even had a little brother all these years. Tears, tears for my mother, because for what ever it was, for what ever reason, she hid his existence all those years. Just like she did to my father, she hid his existence from me.

Tears, tears to hear that my father passed, before I even knew of him. Tears, to hear I have another sister and brother I have never met because I didn’t know.

Tears, tears for my son. Because I too hid his existence, oh I knew he was there. I just wasn’t there for him. Tears for my daughters, because they too didn’t know of their brother.

All I can think about, is if I could only turn back time.


3 Responses to “Tears of Joy & Regret”

  1. Ed of So Cal says:

    I come by and often say nothing because I just wish you and your lady (and now Kitty) well. I am glad you have more family… I still remember the Monkey Man who left over five years ago now in Oregon. He looked so loved and content in Dad’s lap. My mini-Doxie Rosie is still with us… At 12, she has slowed down. I am still very happy that she is here. Inter vertebral Disc Disease surgery after paralysis and again walking and all because of the surgery…. I am glad to hear that you are , as my father in law used to say… “Hanging tough.” I pray that you and your lady have many more years together with joy. Take care Permafrost Ranch Man.

  2. Butch says:

    Prayers for you and family.

  3. Terry says:

    Just happened across your page. We had 2 nieces show up that we never knew about so I can relate to how you feel. Just remember, it’s never, ever too late to begin again. Every morning is a gift. It’s a new day and it will be whatever we make it. God bless.

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